It all began when my Dad, who is Italian, told his mother (my nan) that her friend's daughter could have my address and phone number so I could be her pen friend.
He never asked me, so when a letter came through from a certain Italian girl who knew my address, and knew what my plans for the future were, I was slightly put out.
In fact, I freaked out. But this was after I read the letter.
The letter itself, although barely comprehensible due to the horrid mix of Italian and non-English, began normally.
However, it very quickly digressed into a question and answer sesh, which firstly I didn't care about and secondly was too wierd.
An example question would be "I have a garden with flowers that are blue and white and yellow, and you?"
I couldn't tell you what colour flowers are in my garden unless I went outside and looked, and even if I knew, I wouldn't think that anyone else gives a carnation about it.
Anyway, so 'cos I'm quite nice, I wrote back, and answered the questions that weren't too scary.
And she wrote back again, and because I am busy and have no care in the world for what books she has in her room "and you?" I didn't write back for a while (and eventually for ever).
Then the texts began. Constant texts unless I replied asking why I hadn't.
Again at first I answerd about 5, but on the 5th she asked me what I thought of her nickname "Titti" and how I imagined her.
That was it.
I didn't answer.
Despite the 18 texts in one monday afternoon from about 5.30 until 2 in the MORNING, I did not respond.
These texts would frequently be followed by a phone call and then her putting the phone down, just so my ringtone went off and I knew I had a text. I don't understand what isn't hint enough about 3 months of not responding. TRUST ME, I'VE LOOKED AT MY PHONE AT LEAST ONCE IN THOSE THREE MONTHS. I'M NOT ANSWERING.
The texts still came, and kept coming until I decided to take action.
I spoke to my Dad, who spoke to my nan, who spoke to psycho girl's mum who presumably spoke to her because it stopped (although not after a voice message which revealed her voice to be something not to dissimilar from Bruce Willis', but just a TAD less girly.)
I was finally free.
Or so I thought.
Months later. My guard was down. I was watching some TV and something buzzed in my pocket.
"What's that?" I asked quizzically, and pulled out my phone.
I realised with great joy I had received a text from...wait a minute...+39...not+44? Wait that...that is an ITALIAN NUMBER OH NO IT'S DOOM AGAIN.
I read the text, where she quite emotionally asked why I didn't respond. She asked if something happened. I decided to leave it, and play it as if I had died. That way she'd eventually leave me alone.
Nope. She rang and hung up.
And again, JUST TO MAKE SURE.
And then it did stop.
And that is the story of my mental Italian stalker I had and possibly still have. But all this made me wonder...what is going through that girl's mind right now?
She's probably in her backgarden burying a pebble with "Mike" written on it in mud, whilst weeping. Then she'll probably go home, have dinner, then go out about town and eat somebody's leg.
But whatever she is doing, hopefully she doesn't text me...
"I ate some very nice human leg today. Gypsie is my favourite....and you?"
By the Way, Blog 11 was taken off due and re-submitted later on due to reasons explained IN blog 11. It's there though, somewhere between Blog 19 and 20...
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