Blog 123 - My Cow Experience

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i47HoiM0Au8

Watch this, but beware it's got strong language plus some pretty disturbing stuff is said.
And then I'm gonna rip her apart the only way I know how. Point by point dissection of what she says swivel kicked into her silly little head. She'll never read this, because she's probably illiterate. But I'll write it anyway.

It begins "what's this country come to, a load of black people and a load of ____ing polish?" she then slurs a bit, and goes "see what I mean?"

Instantly, and I'm not Sherlock Holmes, we can see she's not all there. I mean, 1) she can't talk, and 2) anyone else think it'd be silly to sit there slagging off foreigners on a tram full of foreigners? She even goes on to point out everyone who's not english. Good idea.

Next up, "sort out your own countries, don't come and see mine. Britain's nothing now...my britain is F__ all now, britain is F__ all."
Cos of people like you.

When it's pointed out to her that there's little kids, she says "yeah fine, I've got a little kid here". You shouldn't.

"go back to where you come from, go back to F__ing niggagriga" (or something). So she didn't get an A for geography, I imagine. At this point the guy behind her stands up and I'm so annoyed at the person next to him cos this woman needs a slap.

The african woman points out that if they weren't here to do the jobs they do, they wouldn't get done. Which is definitely true. The racist goes mental saying that she works and this is her British country, and that the african woman isn't british because she's black.

Then the other english woman goes sick on the racist which is wicked. Good for her.

How many times will people have to keep reminding people like this that nobody's pure english anymore. In fact, it's because england was so rubbish that we're a mix of almost all of Europe. Britain's greatest time was probably the British Empire (made up of lots of different countries) and that was WAY after pure englishness had been lost in a sea of french, spanish, italian, german, scandinavian etc.

Sorry this post is a bit serious. But this blog's mainly for me, to be honest. And my one reader, James :P

Blog 122: Random Romance

This is a blog with a bit of a difference... and maybe it's a possible twist from a teenager's ranting blog into a grown man's (because apparently that's what I am now) more grown up blog. Don't worry, I'm not going to start writing about politics, and hopefully it won't actually be serious or anything, but instead of undirected rants and attacks on those around me, perhaps this blog can bring more to people who read it and make some kind of point?

Or perhaps not. Let's see shall we?

Maybe it's just me in my lonely little room who sometimes, very occasionally, completely over reacts when the smallest attention is payed to me by a pretty girl. For example, I've basically fallen in love with a girl on my course (actually to be fair, she doesn't give me any attention... she's just amazing) and I don't know her name and I've never ever spoken to her. Not to mention the Chicken Stock girl you may remember from my stories (have I ever posted that in a blog?) who laughed at one of my jokes, and I decided I would make it my life's mission to make her my wife. Needless to say, that fell apart after about a week, when I realised she just laughed out of politeness, and out of 10 there was 0 chance of her ever being interested. Don't forget the woman in NYC who I never even saw, I just heard her voice behind me, and I instantly fell in love with her because of it.

But I have spoken to other people who get the same thing (sort of). And so it must be more common than just me wandering around falling in love with everyone all the time. So I thought I'd write something nice just to capture those feelings, however stupid they are, just because it's funny and I'm very bored more than anything else. And so here it is. I call it "Letter to the Girl in Wilko"

To the girl in Wilko who told me that you have no facepaint left in stock,

Firstly, don't worry that you had none left, I understand that it's not your fault, and obviously, due to the fact that I was looking for some the day after Hallowe'en, it was probably my bad timing that was the root of the problem. I'm sure you haven't been upset about not being able to find me any but in case you were, I'd like you to know that it doesn't bother me.

Secondly, and I hope this doesn't seem to forward, but I think I might love you. For those brief 10 seconds where we exchanged words, you looked at me and it was at that moment that I fell deeply into the biggest, bluest, most beautiful eyes that I've ever encountered in all my time on this earth.

I never believed in magic up until today, but when I met you, albeit briefly, I knew that no normal earthly force could have conceived you and that you must have been the creation of something super or even supra natural.

Now I'm not the most confident of men, and obviously I'm not James Bond, partly because he's a fictional character, but also because I'm not a secret agent. In fact, I'm just some guy who lives in a small room, draws pictures for his relatively unimpressive university degree, and occasionally watched films or plays on his X-box 360. Because of this, there's no way that I can even begin to think of any reason why you would want to talk to me. For this reason, I didn't try and speak to you longer, I didn't ask you out, I didn't get your number and I didn't tell you how incredibly gorgeous you look despite the tacky wilko uniform. And so instead, I went home and wrote this letter which you'll never ever see.

I wish I could be more confident, but I'm not. So instead of getting to know you and entering into what could have been an incredible time in my life, I returned home with my newly purchased toaster and I sat down and wrote this. And after this I'll probably make my self some beans on toast (and see how good the toaster is) and then carry on playing the new batman game.

Maybe one day I'll pluck up the courage to talk to you, maybe you'll somehow find me interesting and maybe something will happen. But I doubt it. However, I thought I'd write all these feelings down, because it would be wrong if they were to be lost forever.