Blog 142: An Updated Enemies List

A while back I made a list of all my enemies. The list has grown because more people and things have annoyed me since then. Here is the updated list.

I should note, the Queen's been taken off my list. It's still annoying about the taxes but as you'll see there are greater evils in the world, and teenage me being all 'anti-monarchist' and 'cool' isn't helping solve the more serious issues. We're cool, Your Majesty.

1) Nick Hall - the guy who wrote an awful clue in a puzzle I couldn't win. All because he didn't make sense. I googled him recently to find out what he looks like. No idea if this is the real one but he looks pretty smug about something.

It doesn't matter how big your glasses are, Nick, you'll never see me coming.

2) Some guy called Hwoarang who kept killing me on Tekken once.

3) The guy who kept beeping at me to move into the slow lane on a duel carriage way, because I was going too slow. The fact that both lanes were taken up by lorries next to each other, clearly visible over my tiny peanut car didn't stop him from angrily speeding past and waiting for the lorry to overtake the other, exactly as I had done. 

4) The other guy who thought 'give way to the right at a roundabout' meant 'when you see a car coming from the right, drive out into the roundabout and keep driving, ignoring the other car and try and occupy the same physical space as that car when he's turning the way he's indicated'. Well, he'd either misunderstood it to mean that or he was an idiot, I don't want to jump to conclusions though.

5) Sombreros. I was carrying a sombrero and so I'm blaming sombreros. If it wasn't for the sombrero, my iPad wouldn't have fallen 3 feet and tested the protective case I bought. If it wasn't for the sombrero, the case wouldn't have failed that test. If it wasn't for the sombrero, I wouldn't have found out Apple charge £280 to 'fix' it. And if it wasn't for the sombrero, I'd never have realised that Apple has so much money that their way of fixing virtually any problem is to just give you a new one.

Terrifying.

6) I haven't got a sixth person yet but I'm leaving the number here deliberately, just so you know that there's always more room on this list for YOU. Watch yourself.