Blog 14: Part 2 of Terror Mail

Skip the intro: if you have no idea what this is about, read blog 12 and 13, and then you will.

THE SECOND LETTER to fall through my letterbox was similar in length. It was a reply. Naive and Ignorant as I was, I replied to the first letter (although didn't answer some queries like "my favourite animal or colours of my flowers) and in due course received a second.
Let's read some shall we?

"Don't worry for late letter. (I remember at first I couldn't be bothered to reply until my Dad made me) You successful exams?...Very happy for to the passion for graphic. We are graphic, fantastic. (Hang on; just 'cos your name is Tits Von Titbank doesn't mean we are graphic!)
Where do you go on holiday? I go to the sea and mountains (and roam in the wilderness with my monkey friends and eat raw fish and prawns on wood) is very beautiful.
What your favourite food in Harpenden? (so you do know the name of the town, you just address it as Harpender for kicks) Do you like peugcent (I can't make out the word) Parlami un po di te (meaning tell me a little about yourself...no thanks)
Do you like horror film? (Why, are you the next serial killer?) What are you going to wear? (?) What you like to wear?"

She then repeats herself about what she likes to wear, see first letter in Blog 13.

"Whats your favourite dog? (?) My favourtie dog is Saturdog (Oh...you mean DAY)."

Now, I said earlier that in my first (and only) reply I decided not to answer the question about animals, or colours, assuming she was just practicing english, and she won't be THAT bothered if I didn't tell her, because it's just not what us grown ups talk about. (It's a leopard and it's green)
So, she then writes;

"Whats the favourite animal?
Whats the favourite colour?
I think che sei (that you are) very nice (...)
Puoi (Can you) spend one you foto? thanks."

DON'T WORRY I DID NOT SEND HER A PHOTO.
This letter and some wierd texts that I have mentioned in Blog 12 led me to believe the woman was crazy, and therefore to stop writing.

And then came one of the most worrying letters ever.


"Hello!
Why you haven't to asked sms and call? What's successful?
S hope che you haven't successful (?)
You writting immediately, I am very very worry (it took me ages to figure out it says worry. It looks like wong, wony, wany, but not worry) for you!
I write very little because I don't know come mai (why you haven't) you haven't writting.
P.S. you letter didn't arrive my home, you l'hai writting a me?"

The letter fortunately wasn't written in her own feces, but I expect the next one will be.