Blog 114: Holiday Diary 1

Spinazzola - Day 1

So, obviously I’m on holiday, because I’m writing a diary, and if I wasn’t on holiday I definitely wouldn’t have time to do this. Oh wait, yes I would, because I’m a student. I forgot about that because literally NOTHING INTERESTING EVER HAPPENS.
But don’t worry, I’ve been up to my usual antics over summer, and that’s why I haven’t written a blog in a while I guess. So here’s my diary, all blogged up and ready to go, written on location.
The plan was go to Rome, spend 4 days there, and then drive to the south of Italy where my Dad was born to spend around 9 days there, even though it’s literally in the middle of nowhere. Now, when we were in Rome, we were busy, getting up to all sorts of notable activities. However, because we were busy, I didn’t have time to write a diary. But now that I’m doing nothing, I have time. But nothing to write about. That doesn’t stop the massive paragraph underneath though.
So today we went to the beach. By we I mean my Mum, Dad, Brosef Stephen and Sistef Laura, and then my Grandparents, I Nonni as there known in Italy: Nonno and Nonna.

The beach was nice. Sun, sand, umbrellas, bikinis, big bellies, wrinkly upper thighs and buttock area, girls with pit hair, girls with overgrown ahems and oh yeh, topless babes! And by topless babes, I mean old ladies with their tits dragging in the sand.

What to do on the beach!? So many options! Swim, cough up salt, get sand in your hair, walk around all pasty white next to the blackest white people you’ll EVER see or play with a bean bag. So we played bean bag, which involved throwing it to each other in the sea. It was actually really fun. Then we started rugby tackling waves until a hot girl came over and my brother got embarrassed. And then a perfectly ok day turned into the worst day of my life. My brother, my own brother, lost. My. Beanbag.
Then we came home, ate crackers and Philadelphia and cried into my straw hat which doesn’t quite fit my head but that’s ok because everyone just rests them on the top of their head anyways now. Dunno what’s gonna happen tonight. Probably just eat too much food and lie on the floor like Jabba, just without the bikini-clad princess. When in Rome.