Blog 116: Holiday Diary 3

Spinazzola - Day 4

You may have figured out there’s no pattern as to which day I write this li’l travel journal on. Obviously, 1,3,4, isn’t a pattern, probably. And if it is, then I’m not intending it. It’s literally when I have nothing else to do.

As I implied yesterday, today was spent milling around in the house watching films. Somehow I’ve managed to eat two peaches, which, put together were literally the size of my head. I’ve also managed to only watch 2 films between 10am and 6.30pm. I watched American Pie 2 followed by The Hills Have Eyes. Because you really needed to know that. I’m also about halfway through The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe, the sequel to The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Universe. I wish Douglas Adams didn’t have such long book names. Unfortunately I don’t own a copy of Life, the Universe and Everything to read once this book’s finished.

I’ve also spent a large segment of my day worrying and pondering. I’ve worried about how I’ve done NO work towards my dissertation, even though I’ve had no time to do that work at all ever this holiday. I’ve also pondered and worried about how silly I can be. And furthermore, I’ve pondered how best to get the circular metal object off the chimney across the street and into my possession.

Some of you may have seen the new Captain America movie. I’m not going to pretend it’s as good as Thor was, or that it’s a must see, but it’s not bad. And the circular object across the street looks EXACTLY like his shield, minus the paint job.

So I want it. Simples. And I’ve tried to work out the most efficient and safest way to get it. I’ve taken photographs of the item and the surrounding area, I’ve done the maths, the science. And at the moment I can see three possibilities.

1) Get a massive ladder and climb up the building opposite and take it. Problems? People will definitely see. And seeing as I don’t technically own the item, that may be a problem. Even more so, I don’t own the building...

2) Construct a structure from wire culminating in a coathanger. The item has bits of wire attached, all of which loop back to the item and form lovely li’l twisty bits I can hook onto, like hooking ducks at a fair (that’s not a euphemism) or hooking chicks in a club (that is). If I was to create a huge wire stick thing and hook it, I can probably either pull it back to my rooftop, or at least knock it to the ground. Problems? Knocking it to the ground might kill my nan if she’s outside, and then how am I gonna eat? Also, the only wire in the area is supporting the aerial. If I take the wire down, the whole thing might collapse.

3) Jump to the other roof. It’s definitely doable. It’s about 2 metres away, but also 2 metres lower. The roof tiles don’t look real sturdy but there’s a whole patch where there aren’t any roof tiles! Problems? There’s no way of getting back. I’ve surveyed the surrounding landscape and the only way would be through someone’s house.

And so for the rest of this evening I shall be plotting. In fact, until I get the damn thing, that’s my holiday plans sorted.