Blog 54: Die-light

Everyone makes mistakes. Some people get carried away in the moment and next thing you know, they have a baby. Some people push someone over and accidentally cause that person to die. However, I made the mistake of all mistakes. I watched Twilight.

NOW as a film, twilight isn't that bad. There was just one thing which annoyed me about the film. And that is, that twilight is a really really bad film.

The director made some classic errors. The first mistake was agreeing to make the film. The second mistake was relying on technology used in 1970s spiderman movies to portray how good Edward is at climbing trees. The third was deciding to choose really bad actors to play characters such as Bella, and everyone else in the film.

I mean, Bella was rubbish. Other than the fact that she seems to be constantly having an orgasm somehow against her will, she is the most annoying person I have ever not-met but seen on a film. Surely someone who went to acting school knows about what emotion is, but for some reason she doesn't seem to get it. More annoyingly is how every girl's fantasy guy keeps making moves on her, and she just sits there being constantly on her period and being all moody. The best bit of the film was when she got her leg broke, and even that was ruined cos she was in it.

What was really the disease ridden cherry which was vomited back up on the 5 year old cake was when my friend's flat mates returned, they decided they wanted to watch Twilight. So yes, I watched Twilight twice in a row. I don't even do that with good films, so by the end of two twilight sessions, I literally just wanted to die.

In the emotionless, android-like, monotonous words of Bella herself (sort of), "I'd never given much though to how I would die. But dying instead of watching twilight seems like a good way to go."